Now [A] I'm a fellar with a heart of gold
With the [D7] ways of a gentleman, I've been told
The [A] kind of a fellar that [E7] wouldn't even harm a [A] flea [E7]
But if [A] me and a certain character met
That [D7] guy that invented the cigarette
I'd [A] murder that son-of-a-[E7] gun in the first de-[A] gree.
Now, it ain't 'cause I don't smoke myself
An' I [D7] don't reckon that they hinder your health
I've [A] smoked 'em all my [E7] life and I ain't dead [A] yet! [E]
But [A] nicotine slaves are all the same
At a [D7] pettin' party or a poker game
Ev'ry-[A] thing's gotta stop while they [E7] have that ciga-[A] rette.
[D7] Smoke!, Smoke!, Smoke! that ciga-[A] rette
[D7] Puff!, Puff!, Puff! and if you [B7] smoke yourself to [E7] death
Tell Saint [A] Peter at the Golden Gate
That you [D7] hates to make him [A] wait
You've just gotta have an-[E7] other ciga-[A] rette.
I was up at Winstar the other night
[D7]And Old Dame Fortune was a-doin' me right
Man, the [A]kings and queens just [E7]kept on comin' a[A]round[E7]
I [A]got a full and I bet it high
But my [D7]bluff wasn't workin' on a certain guy
He just [A]kept on raisin' and [E7]layin' the money [A]down.
Now, he'd raise me - I'd raise him
I [D7]sweated blood - you gotta sink or swim
He [A]finally called - [E7]didn't raise the [A]bet[E7]
I said, [A]"Aces full, Pal, how 'bout you?"
He said, [D7]"Well, I'll tell you in just a minute or two
But right [A]now, I just gotta have my[E7]self a ciga[A]rette."
Now, the other night I had me a date
With the [D7]cutest little gal in all fifty states
A [A]highbred, uptown, [E7]fancy little [A]dame[E7]
She [A]said she loved me and it seemed to me
That [D7]ev'rything was 'bout like it oughta be
So [A]hand in hand, we [E7]strolled down lover's [A]lane.
She was, oh, so far from a chunk of ice
And our [D7]smoochin' party was goin' real nice
So [A]help me, Hanna, I [E7]think I'd-a been there [A]yet[E7]
Well, [A]I give her a kiss - a little squeeze
She said, [D7]"Tex, excuse me - please, but
I [A]just gotta have a[E7]nother ciga[A]rette."